Many of the ladies I coach express frustration over their inability to communicate effectively. If you’d like to communicate more effectively, then my recommendation is that you listen up!
Did you ever wonder why God created us with two ears and only one mouth? You need to use your ears more than your mouth. Here is the reason, I believe: James 3:6 KJV, “And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.”
That should tell you what you were created to do more. You should be listening much more than talking. A wise person has learned to listen. The Bible says in Proverbs 8:32-35 KJV, “ Now therefore hearken unto me, O ye children: for blessed are they that keep my ways. Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not. Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors. For whoso findeth me findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the Lord.”
The word hearken in Noah Webster’s 1828 dictionary means 1. To listen; to lend the ear; to attend to what is uttered, with eagerness or curiosity. How often do you actually listen? If you are like most people, more often than not, you’re thinking about what you’re going to say next rather than attending to what one is saying. I am pleased to tell you, listening is a skill that can definitely be learned. Here are a couple of suggestions:
1. Ask many questions and use facial expressions to show you’re interested in the person talking.
2. As you listen deeply and can repeat things that have been told to you, the person will feel heard and understood, most likely, as these are qualities of one who has learned to listen.
Talking is an important part of being friendly and cordial. You have to say truthful things, as a Christian, and you should also be genuine. People can tell when you’re being fake and trying to manipulate them. You must care about the person you’re talking to, as well. Say pleasant things and think about the experience for the other person rather than yourself. Then listen deeply. Get into the conversation, so when you decide to talk, you repeat things the person has said. Let them know you’re truly listening and getting into the feelings and emotions being relayed.
You were given two ears and only one mouth and that mouth can and should be closed at times. Listen at least twice as long as you talk and you are on your way to effective communication.